I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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