do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
