This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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