happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
