Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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