there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
