hell yes lets make some ravioli
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
