And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
