It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
