hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
