If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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