Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
