He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
organizing the empties. That sober.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Randomize
