please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Randomize
