have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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