the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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