i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
