Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
