Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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