6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
