The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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