think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
