I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
