i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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