She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
