tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
