you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
