Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
