Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
