Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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