Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
