Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
We're too hungover to prance.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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