she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
