It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
