you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
