His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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