i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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