Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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