why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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