Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
