Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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