I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
