would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
