At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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