Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
