Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
