If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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