Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
