There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
