i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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